Humorous Thoughts About My Missing Socks

Lost Socks

Lost Socks (photo by dorothyadele)

Laundry Basket With Single Socks

Laundry Basket With Single Socks (photo by dorothyadele)

I have about 25 socks without their match. I wonder if someone stole the matches to the socks because they are brightly colored and extremely attractive, especially my Marilyn Monroe socks.

I stash the lone socks in a small basket in my closet hoping the mate appears. One day, my sister caught me sorting through the laundry basket of single socks and laughed hysterically.

“I have never seen anything quite like this,” she said.

So, where do the single socks go?

  1. –Some cling desperately to sweaters and pillowcases as they tumble through the dryer
  2. –Some tag along with my daughter when she leaves for school and are never seen again
  3. –Some arrive with house guests and never leave (and sometimes the house guests don’t leave either)
  4. –Some black-gold-toe socks hide in the towels and run through the bleach cycle turning them an interesting hot-pink shade with a pale yellow toe
  5. –Occasionally, a single sock sneaks into the bleach cycle transforming the pair into a black and pink set
  6. –Some disguise themselves as little balls and bury themselves in the bottom of smelly athletic bags
  7. –Some conceal themselves behind backpacks and books in the corner of the school locker and deteriorate from dry rot when they are found in June
  8. –Some stow away in hotel rooms like they don’t want to go home
  9. –Some hide in the trunk or under the seats of the car and you don’t know that they are missing until you detect an odor
  10. –Some take cover under the sofa and beds and you find them when you hear the vibration as the vacuum sucks them up and then clogs
  11. –Some transform themselves into elephant-ankle socks which occurs when my husband wears mine by mistake and pulls my dainty socks over his fat ankles
  12. –Some camouflage themselves as grey-soled shoes with white tops which happens when the kids wear them outside instead of wearing shoes (Why do they do that?)
  13. –Some hole up in boot toes and you wonder if your feet grew because your boots don’t fit
  14. –Some lay in the sock drawer longing for their perfect mate.

As a result of my missing-sock dilemma, my sister bought the “Lost Sock” rack for me shown above. My only problem is that I need about 18 more clips! Do you think that I am letting my socks run my life?

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