Puppy Training 101 — Blame the Husband

I pulled into my driveway on a rainy, September day and spotted large and small strips of brown cardboard; pink, black and white clothing; and clear plastic bags scattered across my back lawn.

It looked like someone tossed debris in random directions as they rode on a merry-go-round.  Closer inspection revealed that about 50 golf shirts littered my yard. Clear plastic bags protected most of them, the rest were sopping and smeared with dirt.

I quickly bundled as many shirts as I could hold in my arms, and I hurried inside and dropped them on the Ping-Pong table. As I returned to collect more, I watched my giant puppy hop among the clutter.

He grabbed a pink shirt, growled ferociously, and shook it like he was playing Tug of War. Then he threw his head up and down several times, tossed it in the air and pounced on it with muddy paws.

Oops,  these were the company-monogrammed-Adidas-golf shirts  that my husband had ordered for his customers.  Unfortunately he couldn’t give them shirts that took a  little spin in the washer. I knew that we were in trouble.

After I picked up the rest of the shirts, I called my husband from my cell phone so that he wouldn’t know that I was home.

I said, “You didn’t leave the dog out, did you?”

He said, “Yes, I left him out.”

I said, “ Oh, did you forget that anything that the UPS truck drops off on the driveway belongs to him?”

He said, “I didn’t think about that.”

I said, “If he gets into anything, my conscience is clear, how’s yours?   Have a great day and see you at dinner.”

This was the second or eighth time that my puppy opened a UPS box. Previously, he ripped open canine heartworm pills and ate a six-month supply. The pills contain arsenic, but his size protected him.

Though I have never eaten one, heartworm medication smells and tastes like dog treats, and my dogs love them.  Food and fun rewarded my puppy when he punctured this package. It was time  to stop his behavior before he consumed his next carton.

After I picked up the rest of the shirts, I placed a cardboard box in my driveway and walked away.  When my puppy pounced on the box, I grabbed his little black furry cheeks in my hands and put my face about two inches from his and screamed “NO!”

I yelled at him for about 15 seconds, and it worked.   He never touched a box again.

It was a win-win day. My puppy’s curiosity taught my husband pet-owner responsibility, and our family and friends  added to their wardrobe. Thank goodness we have that dog.

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24 thoughts on “Puppy Training 101 — Blame the Husband

  1. Cheryl says:

    I love your dog! He would never do what you said! Are you sure it wasn’t your son playing a joke?
    Great pic! My ninny is afraid of phone cameras, I can’t even get a shot of her face!

  2. Amy Glorioso-Kaltenbach says:

    Dottie-you live the glamorous life! Thank you for sharing the antics of an over rambunctious dog. I remember you sharing him with Colin’s fourth grade class!!

    • Oh my gosh, you are right. Could it be that long ago? Thanks for reading my blog, we have had some interesting times over the years. I hope that all is well. How is SJA?

  3. Oh NO! Our dog is a chewer. My son caught a battery before it went down his throat the other day. A BATTERY. Our last dog had a taste for chocolate. CHOCOLATE. His size protected him every time. Even when he ferreted out a Christmas sized bag of York’s peppermint patties and shat green wrappers for a week and a half.

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